To know Darlene Vandermey is to know that she loves cycling. Besides the bicycle images on the wall of her home office, the bicycle clock in her living room, and the bicycle trainer in her basement, there’s the 2,000+ kilometres she biked around Ontario over the course of 2023 when a mild winter left open roads.
What you might not know is that 33 years ago, she was told she would never ride her bicycle again.
Her comeback story is inspirational.
The journey she took from failing health in her mid-40s to inspiring others on the bike trail in her mid-70s is one of faith, the tenacity of an ‘I’m never giving up’ attitude, a personal code for when things get tough, and the support of her family.
When Darlene married the love of her life Kees in 1969, the couple enjoyed Scottish country and square dancing. They were active in the communities where they lived and Kees served as a Presbyterian minister. They eventually welcomed three children and enjoyed family-focused camping trips that included, of course, cycling. As a Minister’s wife, Darlene was active in the life of the congregations they served, as well as with her own growing family.
The family had moved to Windsor, Canada’s most southern city next to the U.S. Border. The climate in Windsor reflects its more southern latitude – at best, it’s very mild, and then it gets very hot and humid. Unfortunately, it seemed to be a trigger for Darlene. First, it was allergies that flared and then came extreme tiredness and eventually pain and aches throughout her body. Daily living was a challenge.
“I couldn’t wait to get the kids out the door in the morning, and I would flop on the couch. Even my clarity of mind was going.”
Then came the devastating diagnoses at age 44 by a rheumatologist: fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia happens when the sheath that covers the muscles becomes inflamed. Such a diagnosis required that 21 different pressure points on the body be identified, Darlene explains.
Just for a moment, imagine 21 pressure points of pain on your body and now imagine that on a 5’2” frame.
The doctor looked at this petite and seemingly frail woman, prescribed some medicine and told her she would never ride her bike again. Nor dance again.
The medication caused her to feel worse, and she called the doctor who told her, “take the medication or be in pain for the rest of your life.”
“I told my family, ‘I don’t like that diagnosis. I am going on a health journey,’ and that was the start of a five-year process.”
Darlene is petite and slim, but the health journey she embarked on next was outsized in its depth and breadth as she fought her way back to health.
What’s her secret, I wanted to know.
The strength she brought to the battle is certainly a testament to the strong women who raised her. Her mother was widowed at 41, when Darlene was just 7, and her grandmother, also a widow, came to live with them in Willowdale. Her mother “had to pull up her boot straps” and work to support the family and pay the mortgage. A level of tenacity her daughter inherited and would need later in life.
Darlene grew up in a home with love, her grandmother’s deep faith, and her mother’s steady pragmatism mixed with faith. Darlene never felt the struggles were on her shoulders. In fact, her mother even secretly set aside a small sum of money to pay for her daughter’s wedding for when the time came. When Darlene decided Kees was the one, her mother sat them both down to tell them she would never live with them. They were to move on with their lives and build their own home. She lived on her own until her death at age 87.
Darlene was very close to her mother, witnessing her strength in the aftermath of her father’s death. Darlene rides her bike with a tiny stuffed dog, Sally, that belonged to her mother, secured on the rear rack, the memento tagging along on multi-day trips around the province.
After the disappointing conversation with her doctor and the declaration to her family, Darlene tried several modalities, including chiropractic adjustments, massage therapy, and acupuncture. She would give each time to offer relief, but then move on to the next possible solution when it wasn’t enough. She tried various health products.
She made a decision that she needed to keep a positive attitude as each attempt didn’t provide the resolution she sought. At one point her back was out and she also suffered from sciatica. Along with pain and significant fatigue, she experienced daily migraines. The on-going effort would “grind me to a halt,” but she was determined to be the active and healthy wife and mother she had been.
“Part of what kept me going is that I knew God put me here for a purpose, and I wasn’t living my purpose.
“I also needed to do it for my family, to try and recover for them. All of our vacations had to revolve around me because I couldn’t sit very long in the car. I can say my kids suffered. They were going into their teen years with a mom who could not do much.”
Another transfer to the small, rural community of Elora took the family away from Windsor. “I interviewed a chiropractor who I saw for adjustments because of the sciatica and he gave me a power belt designed to maintain my hip after the adjustment. I wore it for a year and it worked.”
Exercise remained almost impossible because of continuing pain, but she kept up walking.
One day a church member told her about a barley grass powder that was supposed to reduce inflammation. A bit skeptical as she had tried many other products, she was leaving no stone unturned and tried it.
The first thing she noticed was a reduction in migraines. As a result, her lifestyle and diet became the focus of the journey.
Based on research, she began to eliminate foods that were inflammatory – wheat, milk, sugar, and pork. She eats lots of fruits and vegetables, chicken, and fish. And she tries to avoid processed food.
“Gradually, little by little, the pain began to subside.” It was a gradual transition, away from regular cycles of pain, but enough movement forward to keep her going.
Then the day came when the family was at its camper trailer and Darlene pulled her bike out of the shed. It had been stored out-of-sight where it would not be a reminder of what she had lost. On this day she rode the bike – albeit a short distance – but it was a reason to celebrate. And an affirmation of what she was doing.
“I’m over it,” she told Kees. “This is my sign that I’m going to get over it.”
Never one to look too long in the rear-view mirror – she notes rear-view mirrors are small while windshields are large to look forward – she was determined to learn more. She took nutritional courses through the Alive Academy of Canada and became a Nutritional Product Advisor and a Living Well Coach. “The icing on the cake,” she says, is the fact she had to write exams, something she would not have been able to accomplish while in the grip of fibromyalgia which also results in memory problems.
She started a home-based business, Joy! Health Naturally!, that she operated for 24 years, only recently retiring. In addition to the part-time work, she was music director for a junior choir, a senior choir and a cantata choir. Busy working mother and volunteer once again.
To this day she remains diligent in what she will and will not eat, and she continues to take the barley grass powder and other products; however, “I’m still of the opinion you can pour all the nutritional products you want into your body but if you’re not going to make lifestyle changes, you’re wasting your money.
“I have a passion for people with fibromyalgia because many are put on medication, and the medical profession will tell you, live with it.”
She does not. Darlene’s migraines and muscle aches have disappeared. As well as cycling, she and Kees returned to dancing, stopping only when the groups disbanded.
When asked how she was able to keep going after each attempt at a solution failed, she shared a thought process she uses when anything happens. It’s based on the word STOP.
S – Stop in your tracks if something happens or something is not working for you
T – Take a deep breath
O – Observe the situation; like you are outside of yourself so you can observe objectively, like you are looking at someone else
P – Pray, plan, and proceed
Darlene seems to be proof that one’s mindset has far-reaching consequences.
Seven years ago, Darlene and Kees joined a bike club and regularly travel on multi-day bike trips; they plan to cycle the P’tit Train du Nord in Quebec this fall.
Then, last year another ailment impacted her cycling and for 10 months she was once again fighting for a come back. Her glute muscles began to act up making it painful to sit. She went to physiotherapy and took her bike and herself for a fitting to see if changes to her bike would help. A new seat was recommended.
The physiotherapy treatment resulted in hitting a nerve and worse pain. Applying her STOP method, Darlene decided to change physiotherapists and she is now back on her bicycle, clocking more kilometres again.
When others are tempted to say, I have to stop doing what I love because I can’t anymore, Darlene says STOP and then moves forward with a plan to surmount the issue. She decided to purchase an electric bike (with an improved seat) at the end of 2024 so she can rely on the extra support on challenging hills and longer trips.
Her tenacity and her faith are remarkable, all the more so because they are housed in a tiny package that has mastered the skill of balancing a peaceful temperament with an inspirational strength of will.
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Who is still inspiring you? Let me know and perhaps they could be featured here to inspire others!
StillKim 